Akatsuki Mini Mission
by sportypielover
Summary: Itachi, Zetsu, and Kisame give themselves a mission, to find out Deidara's a girl or not! I'll continue if I get a good amount of reviews.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto, so don't rub it in!

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Akatsuki Mini Mission

Chapter One

"Kisame, Zetsu! Get over here!" Itachi yelled.

"What do you want now, you blind fool!" Zetsu yelled when he got to Itachi.

"Yeah, I was doing something important," Kisame whined.

"I have a mission for the three of us," Itachi whispered.

"Oh boy, a mission," Tobi exclaimed appearing out of nowhere.

"Tobi go away," Zetsu exclaimed making shooing motions with his hands towards Tobi. Zetsu looked at Itachi and Kisame and noticed that they were looking at him with lifted eyebrows. "He won't stop following me," he said with made Kisame and Itachi understand.

"As I was saying before _someone _interrupted me," Itachi continued rolling his eyes at Tobi, "I have a mission that can solve an uncertain rumor that has been going around the Akatsuki for some time now," Itachi said making everyone curious.

"Is it the rumor that Kisame went out with a man thinking he was a girl," Tobi asked ignoring the glares from Kisame.

"…No, I'm talking about if Deidara is truly a man like he says," Itachi said. Kisame, Tobi and Zetsu grinned.

"When will we go?" Kisame asked.

"Tonight," Itachi said.

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So, should I continue? Send a lot of reviews and maybe I'll find time to continue. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Sigh, I don't own Naruto. I can't believe I have to get use to saying that every single time I write a story!

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"When will we go?" Kisame asked. 

"Tonight," Itachi said.

Later on that night outside of Deidara's window…

"Is everybody here?" Itachi asked not being able to see.

"Yea," Kisame and Zetsu answered in unison.

"Where's Tobi?" Itachi asked not sensing his chakra.

"I got rid of him," Zetsu answered with an evil grin on his face and started to laugh maniacally. Kisame and Itachi both felt the evil aura surround him as he did that. They both took a step away from him.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Itachi cautiously asked, wondering if he ate Tobi. Zetsu looked at Kisame and then at Itachi. He saw sweat run down their faces.

"I taped him to a chair in a dark room and forced him to watch Teletubies for 48 hours over and over again."

"That's horrible!" Kisame yelped.

_Should I tell Zetsu that Tobi likes Teletubies? _Itachi wondered to himself, _Nah._

"Enough with this talk lets get on with this mission," Itachi said as Kisame and Zetsu nodded.

"I'll go undercover first," Zetsu stated.

"But how?" Itachi asked, "I thought you needed plant life to use your spying jutsus and Deidara doesn't have any plants," Itachi pointed out.

"I know how to solve that!" Kisame yelled and ran off.

About ten minutes later he appeared with a huge pot, the bottom having a diameter of about two and a half feet.

"Where did you get that pot?" Zetsu asked.

"I know a guy," Kisame replied. Zetsu and Itachi glared at him for giving an answer without really giving an answer.

"Anyway let's get on with this," Itachi said, "fill the pot with dirt from the ground, so Zetsu can get in."

After Itachi said that, Kisame picked Zetsu up, threw Zetsu in and started to fill the pot with dirt from the ground.

By the time Kisame was finish filling the pot, the only part of Zetsu that was showing was his head and the plant thingy surrounding his head.

"The only problem now is how we're going to get you up there," Kisame pointed out, "After all, the window is on the second floor."

"I have an idea," Itachi said. Then he picked up the pot and threw it in the direction of the window. The pot missed and ended up crashing into the wall a couple of centimeters from the window (After all he is still blind).

"Dammit, just missed," Itachi complained as Zetsu came crashing down along with the shattered pieces of ceramic from the pot.

"Don't worry," Kisame said, "I'll just get another pot!" He said running off again with Zetsu in a daze and Itachi just standing there.

Once again Kisame came back with the same kind of pot, threw the dazed Zetsu into it and filled it with dirt.

"How are we going to get the pot up there this time?" Kisame asked, "my hands are tired from digging so I can't do it."

"I can always try aga-" Itachi started.

"NO!!!" Zetsu yelled out snapping out of his daze and interrupting Itachi.

"Then who will throw it?" Kisame asked.

"I will, I'm a good boy," said a voice coming from somewhere but no one knew where. Then the mystery person appeared in front of everybody.

"Argh," Zetsu moaned, "I thought I got rid of you!"

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My friends suggested I try using a cliff hanger but I don't think it worked because I think you people still know who the mystery person at the end is. Anyways, before I continue this story I want 5 more reviews. I mean come on! All you have to do is press one little button!!! Do you people know how awesome it feels to be an author and get a review!!! Geez, you people act like you have to pay to review. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto...

Sorry it took me so long to update. I have a busy life.

Oh yeah, I realized how happy you guys make me, so I want to thank you.

Thank you BrdomIsTheDvl, Shinkutsuki, yinyanglover, Silver Curiosity, Aiko Sakura Yukimura, Shino-is-mine, fix-it Alchemist, deidara881, kazekakashi12, and AlchemyGaara.

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"Argh," Zetsu moaned, "I thought I got rid of you!"

"You thought you got rid of me?" Tobi asked with a questioned look on his face.

"Yes," Zetsu hissed, "when I put you in that room I meant for you to stay there!"

"Oh, you mean when you put me in the dark room?" Tobi asked.

"Yes," Zetsu hissed again.

"Actually," Tobi started, "I wasn't planning to leave. I wanted to stay and watch, but then the door opened and this guy with glasses came in. He said his name was Kabuto. He jumped in front of the tv and started this long speech that started with 'I'm here because' and it was so boring that I fell asleep. I woke up to the sound of a kunai whizzing past my ear and when I looked at the wall in back of me, I did see a kunai. He threw another one and I moved so that it cut the ropes that tied me to the chair. The next thing I knew, the guy was jumping out the window with the tv saying something about some guy named Orochimaru forgetting to bring his tv when he left the Akatsuki and that he needed it to watch America's Next Top Model."

When Tobi finished his really long explanation, Zetsu got angrier, Itachi sweat dropped, and Kisame shuddered at Orochimaru's taste in shows.

"Can we just get on with the mission?" Itachi asked.

"Fine, but before that idiot throws me, I want to put a jutsu on the pot so that it won't break no matter how hard the impact," Zetsu said as he made the hand signs and put the jutsu on the pot. "Now you can throw me up there."

Up in Deidara's room…

"That was the worst walk through the woods I ever had," Deidara mumbled to himself, as he walked into his room. "I mean who puts fake clay in the middle of a path!!!" he yelled out in anger. The 'fake clay' he was talking about was actually quick sand he stepped in.

"I have to change this cloak," Deidara said as he opened his closet and revealed about 50 Akatsuki cloaks that we're exactly like the one he was wearing.

"Which one should I wear?" he asked to air. "I'll choose this one," pulling out a random cloak. Then, all of the sudden, the mouths on his hands ate it whole.

"Aww man," he complained, "my hands are hungry and I lost all of my clay in that stupid forest," he said as his hands ate another cloak.

About five minutes later, his hands ate all the Akatsuki cloaks that were in his closet.

"WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR NOW!!!" he yelled out in frustration as he searched through the empty closet. Then he pulled out the only outfit he found.

It was a ballerina outfit. It was pink and frilly all over. The tutu was huge with a diameter of three feet. There were the flat ballerina shoes and panty hose too. The bad thing about it was that everything was attached.

"Ugh, the only thing I can find is this stupid costume that my grandmother gave me!" He grumbled, wishing he could find something else to put on.

When he couldn't find anything else, he put on the outfit. He even put on the long pink ribbon that went in his hair.

He walked over to his mirror and looked himself over.

"Hey, this doesn't look half bad," he stated and started to make poses in front of the mirror.

In about three minutes, he heard a loud crash and then a boom. He turned around and saw…

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Ha! Another cliffhanger. I hope I did this one better than the last one. My friends said my last cliffhanger was horrible. Oh yeah, I need to ask you people something, should I make Deidara say 'un' at the end of every sentence or would that be annoying? Also should I make Tobi try go undercover too? Please help me out. The quicker you do, the quicker I'll update. And _please_, I beg of you, can you please take thirty seconds out of your life and review?! 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Sigh I do not own Naruto.

Before you ppl say anything about the chapter being short, I'm gonna say sorry. I've been busy. Anywayz, thanx to all those reviewers!!! You guys make me so happy!!! But... what ever happened to yingyanglover and shinkutsuki? You guys were the first to review my story. Come back!!!! I miss you guys!!!!

On with the story...

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In about three minutes, he heard a loud crash and then a boom. He turned around and saw…

his dresser in a million pieces. On of the wreckage was a pot standing rite side up and Zetsu's head sticking out of the dirt completely unharmed.

"YAY UN!!!" Deidara yelled out unexpectedly, "I have a plant, un!!!" Then he turned around and continued to pose in the pink framed mirror.

Zetsu then started to twitch uncontrollably of both fear and anger of how stupid and girly Deidara was. He couldn't decide if he should stay or make someone switch places with him. He was in the middle of thought when Deidara started to scream.

"OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH, UN!!!"

Zetsu snapped out of his thoughts and was suddenly interested what Deidara was screaming about. _Something really bad must've happened for him to be screaming this loud._

"OMIGOSH, I BROKE MY NAIL, I HAVE TO FIX IT RIGHT AWAY, UN!!!" Deidara screamed as he ran out of the room.

Zetsu was speechless. _I refuse to stay here any longer_ he thought as he lifted himself out of the pot and jumped out the window.

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So what did you guys think? I didn't do much of a cliffhanger, since my friends are saying I should give up on cliffhangers. Anyways, I've decided to make Tobi go undercover and he could show up in either the next chapter or the one after the next one. Should I make a lot of short chapters with quick updates or an average amount of average sized chapters with longer updates? Thats up to you guys and all you have to do is PUSH THE PURPLE BUTTON!!! btw thanx for reading. 


	5. Chapter 5

OMG!!! I'm soo sorry that i hadn't updated in such a long time!!! sniffle i probably lost all my fans... if i had any fans... cries WHY DOES THIS STUFF ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?! oh yeah... cuz im a lazy bum... coughcough Anywayz before i creep u ppl out before u even read the story im gonna say that i dont own naruto and leave u to read_

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What is taking that fool so long, Itachi wondered, growing impatient. Kisame was just standing there along with Tobi. 

"Whats that?" Tobi screamed while looking up. Kisame looked up, while Itachi just stood there because… well… he was still blind.

When Kisame looked up he saw Zetsu falling from the window. "Isn't that Zetsu?"

As Zetsu almost fell to the ground they all stepped out of the way causing Zetsu to fall into the same whole that filled the pot face first.

"Zetsu-san?" Tobi asked bending down to where Zetsu was in the hole.

After waiting 30 seconds Kisame said "He's unconscious."

Itachi just stood there looking down at Zetsu in disgust _If you're a ninja then how did you fall face first from such a short height and end up unconscious? He's either really stupid or that plant thing on his head is getting to heavy for him… I gotta try cutting that thing off one of these days…_

"So who's going to go up now?" Kisame asked breaking the silence. Neither Tobi nor Itachi said anything. "I guess I'll go then. I'll be right back." And Kisame ran off again.

This time he came back with a huge fish tank that was 2 feet long, 2 feet wide and 1 foot in height.

"I get it! Your going to go inside the fish tank aren't you? Don't worry Tobi's a good boy, I'll help you fit inside," and before Kisame could protest he was being stuffed into the fish tank that he just got. Before he knew it the tank shattered into a lot pieces.

"Wow Kisame-san your so fat that you broke the tank," Tobi stated as he looked down at the pieces of glass.

That resulted in Kisame glaring down Tobi, but Tobi didn't seem to notice. "Your lucky that I got two tanks instead of one," Kisame said as he took out the second tank out of nowhere.

"Now I'm going to complete this mini mission once and for all," Kisame said as he walked into the house.

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I just wanted to say again that im sorry for not updated for so long!!! ill continue and update faster ONLY if u ppl review 


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